Category: Y Stories

FEMALE FRIENDSHIP FORGED AT THE Y

Posted on by Deanna Renaud

When I wanted to write a story about the connections that can be made at the Y, I thought of Lindsay and Sabrina. The bond they share is an empowering example of friendship and the kind of support every mom, woman – human – could use.

Here is their story:

When and where did you meet?

Sabrina: We met at a class called Play & Learn for toddlers in 2014 at the Eastside YMCA.

What was going on in your life at the time?

Sabrina: At that time, I was just working and trying to navigate being a parent without much family support in an area I wasn’t from. Connor and I moved to Erie in 2011 after he retired from the Army, with only his parents living in the area. My only friends at that time were some girls from work who were younger and not parents. I was desperate for a close friend that understood the parenting struggle and also to get back in shape after becoming a mother. 

Lindsay: I was a stay-at-home, overwhelmed, and extremely lonely mother of twins. I was outnumbered with little-to-no adult interaction in the middle of an Erie winter. My husband and I had lived in the area for quite a while, attending college at Penn State Behrend, where we met. I’m originally from Altoona and he’s from Corry. Most of our friends from college had moved away to pursue careers outside the area, and my husband worked in Corry, which left me alone with two little ones most of the day. To say I was desperate to find a way to connect with others is an understatement. That’s when I stumbled upon a little program through the Y that saved my sanity and changed my life forever. 

How did you strike up your first conversation?

Lindsay: I remember Sabrina attending a Play and Learn session and it was the first time I had noticed her there; her husband was usually the one to attend with their son. She was this gorgeous blond with a half-shaved head, tattoos, and a bubbly personality – the complete opposite of me.

Due to my introverted nature and being overwhelmed with two toddlers, I never actually spoke to her at Play and Learn. It was after class when my kids were still full of energy that I took them outside to play on the soccer field. Sabrina must have had the same idea because before I knew it a third child was running around the field. The three of them raced each other up and down the field, giggling and having the time of their lives. That’s when Sabrina approached me and made a comment about how well our kids were playing together. We continued to talk and exchanged numbers to meet up for a playdate.

I didn’t realize it then, but that was the day I met my best friend and second mother to my children. 

What was the first plan you made together?

Sabrina: Our first plan together was to meet at Lindsay’s house for a playdate! There were even a few other Mom’s from Play & Learn that joined. We began meeting once a month for a Mom’s Night Out. But even in a group of women, Lindsay and I always gravitated toward each other. 

What was it about your first couple encounters that made it feel like this was someone you could be friends with?

Sabrina: I think parenting brings people together, and it was a relief to meet someone who wasn’t from Erie but was also trying to navigate parenting toddlers. We had plenty to talk about! We also both enjoyed exercise and at that point in our lives, exercise was the only thing we got to do for ourselves. Our self-care! It was our first night out to dinner at a sushi restaurant that we got the chance to get to know each other away from our kids. It was then that I knew this girl was a keeper! We shared stories of who we were before becoming parents.

Lindsay: We got together for Fourth of July in 2015. I remember our husbands gathered around the fire pit talking. When I noticed my husband interacting with Connor, I knew this friendship was going to last. My husband had very few friends left in the area at that time and seeing him enjoy himself with Sabrina’s husband was something I knew he needed. I remember having one of the best times I’ve had in a long time with her and her family, and it was at that moment I knew I wanted to invest in this relationship and hoped it would last for a lifetime. 

What has your friendship become? How have your families grown close? 

Sabrina: Our friendship has become so much more than friendship. We are definitely more like sisters! We meet as often as life will allow for Saturday morning coffee that lasts until lunch time! Our kids grew up together, also becoming more like siblings than friends. Our families show up for each other in the good times and bad.

Lindsay: I guess to put it simply our friendship has turned into family. I truly consider her to be the sister I never had. I consider the Cunninghams to be the second parents to both my children and fur babies. We have created traditions and make every effort to maintain them.

What does it mean to you to have this person in your life now?

Sabrina: This question brings tears to my eyes as it is really hard to put into words. She is my very best friend who gets me and I know would do anything for me. She’s my support and shoulder to cry on but will also call me out when I’m wrong. Her very presence brings me peace. I’m beyond grateful for her! 

Lindsay: My relationship with Sabrina and her family means EVERYTHING to me. I can count on her to support me through anything, to encourage me when I need it, and to challenge me when I get in my own way. She is everything I’m not which makes us so compatible. She pushes me outside my comfort zone. Her bubbly personality pulls me out of my turtle shell. Her warmth and unwavering love allows me to feel safe being my authentic self. She truly brings out the best in me and I am a better person, friend, wife, and mother because of her.

What would you say to young moms (or dads) who might be in need of connection and friendship?

Lindsay: Don’t be afraid to try new things – to get outside your comfort zone – because you never know how it might impact your life for the better. 

Sabrina: I would tell them to not be afraid to put themselves out there and talk to a stranger! If we hadn’t had that first awkward conversation or that first play date, I’m not sure our friendship would have evolved. Spending all your free time with your kids and spouse can be lonely even if you’re technically not alone. But having a friendship that allows you to share your lives with each other is a game changer! We weren’t meant to do life alone!

CONNECTING THROUGH THE GIFT OF TIME

Posted on by Deanna Renaud

Blaine Havens travels … a lot. At age 21, he embraces the opportunity to visit communities around Pennsylvania through his work as a Traveling Surgical Technologist at UPMC. And each time Blaine receives a new assignment, his first call is to the YMCA. 

“When you travel like this, isolation is very real,” Blaine says. “You’re always going to be the new guy. I can just sit in my hotel room, or I can go to the Y and be around people, have conversations.” 

Before Christmas 2023, Blaine – whose home is Youngstown, Ohio, where he is finishing his Bachelor’s degree from Youngstown State – received a 6-week assignment at UPMC Hamot. He immediately contacted the YMCA of Greater Erie to learn more about volunteering. 

Blaine joined our Eastside location at the Parents’ Afternoon Out event and then again at the Christmas Luncheon, where he helped set tables in the gym. But for Blaine, it was about more than just forks and spoons. 

“When I go somewhere for 6 weeks, I want to be knee-deep in that community,” he says. “This work has given me a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to travel around the state and meet people, see their values and figure out how I can help.” 

As a young person himself, Blaine acknowledges that many people his age seem anxious about the world. “It helps to commit to something and stick with it,” he says. “For me, it’s the Y.” 

Like most people, Blaine has a Y story. He learned to swim at the Davis Family YMCA in Youngstown, which was closest to his then-home in West Virginia. He later joined the Y’s swim team and went on to swim in high school, where his coach was also his Y coach and practices were held at the Y pool. He then swam in college.  

Now, as his life has become more transient, Blaine has found the Y to be a home away from home. 

“The Y is consistently the best place to get plugged into a community and hear what’s happening,” Blaine says. “YMCA’s are a really unique intersection of all generations where you can get involved in new hobbies, learn new things, and connect with people.” 

Blaine sits reflective for a moment. 

“How do you define personal wellness,” he says, rhetorically. “Do you want to be in better shape, is it the number on the scale, do you want to make an impact?” 

For Blaine, the ability to volunteer and make connections is central to his purpose.  

“You work hard all week and get a paycheck – great! Now if you give yourself to someone fully and that person thanks you because you made an impact on them – wouldn’t you rather have that feeling? Of course, everyone needs a paycheck, but that feeling of someone showing gratitude is a wonderful feeling.” 

Blaine goes on. “When I got here, I asked the lady at the front desk where I should go to eat. She gave me a list of 12 restaurants, and we talked for a while. That kindness – you won’t get that everywhere.” 

“My argument to young people is that for $10 you can get a gym membership,” he says. “But for a little more you can be a positive influence in the community. You can meet people and make connections.” 

“My personal definition of well-being extends far beyond my BMI. It’s all about connections,” Blaine says. “What can someone like me do for someone like you?” 

‘I’ve Met No Strangers Here’

Posted on by Deanna Renaud

Roslyn Davidson-Riley was an avid walker but her doctor cautioned her against walking on cement. So, with her Silver Sneakers Membership, Roslyn started walking the track at the Eastside Family YMCA. She had a friend who was a member there, but she quickly made new friends who invited her to join more activities.

“A couple ladies started talking to me on the track,” Roslyn says. “We started sharing a bit about our lives and became friends.” That’s when they invited Roslyn to come to class in the small pool. “I was so happy.”

Roslyn said she’s met a lot of nice people and really loves her classes.

“It’s a wonderful place to come for your workout,” she says of the YMCA, “but relationships can really be built because of the nice people you meet here.”

Roslyn recalls how her classmates sang “Happy Birthday” to her in both of her morning pool classes. They even brought in a plastic cake.

With a big smile, Roslyn sums up her experience: “I’ve met no strangers here.”

A Warm Welcome

Posted on by Deanna Renaud

In many places, when you ask a question you get an answer. At the Y, when you ask a question, you get a new friend.

Mindy joined the Y in December 2023, primarily for swim lessons for her young son. She trains hard for endurance races – like the Boulder Beast, which included climbing a mountain – then steps back for a time. But on this day, she was curious about the schedule posted on the door. When Visnja approached with her mat, Mindy asked if there was a class.

Visnja explained the class and encouraged Mindy to join her. Soon, they were chatting and laughing, sharing a bit about their backgrounds. Visnja has been a member for five years and loves SoulFusion.

“It can be hard to come into a class for the first time,” Visnja shared. “I want others to enjoy the Y like I do.” She helped Mindy get set up with her own mat and weights.

After class, Visnja checked in with Mindy again. “That’s what I needed,” she said, smiling. “I’ll definitely be back.”

Perspective: Learning to Swim Boosts Confidence

Posted on Updated on by Tammy Roche

Darlene Stalmach always wanted to know how to swim. She took lessons more than 25 years ago but never finished. A recent knee replacement motivated her to enroll in adult swim lessons.

“I was looking for a total-body and low-impact exercise,” said Darlene. “Swimming has given me the confidence and motivation to go to the Y, try different activities and meet new people.”

Darlene is afraid of heights. Diving into the water from the diving block required Darlene to overcome an additional fear. “I attempted it twice and backed down. My instructor Brandi encouraged me. Eventually, I did overcome my fear and I dove it! It was a definite milestone for me.”

“I have a 13-year-old granddaughter and she doesn’t know how to swim either. I hope I can be her role model and maybe someday teach her,” said Darlene.

Perspective: Mom & Daughter Bond Through Swim Lessons

Posted on Updated on by Tammy Roche

Ann Trask always wanted to know how to swim. She took swim lessons as a child, but never progressed into a competent swimmer.

“I also wanted to learn so as my daughter’s swimming skills progressed, I could keep up with skill level and ensure that she is safe in the water,” said Ann.

The two bond over conversations about swimming, watching swimming videos and swapping stories about what each learned in the week’s class. “I also think learning as an adult shows her that you are never too old to learn something new and, sometimes, it takes time and practice to progress,” said Ann.

Learning to swim has given Ann confidence. It’s inspired her to try other new experiences too.

“I would recommend learning to swim at any age. My instructor Brandi has been fabulous and is patient with adult learners.”

Breast Cancer Roundtable Discussion

Posted on Updated on by Victoria Stilson

A round table discussion was recently held at our Eastside location by members who are breast cancer survivors. Members Carol Dolak, Justina Bailey, Kate Chalupczynski, and Peggy Lucas discussed their journeys after their diagnoses.

Kate shared specifically how the Y helped her through this time: Tears were in her eyes as she described the compassion and encouragement from staff member Kelly Gibson when learning of her diagnosis and upcoming surgery, the get-well card signed by staff and members in her classes at the Y, and the warm welcome she received when returning to the Y helped to boost her spirits.   

Being in shape from her YMCA classes helped with her recovery: She received comments from medical professionals at her appointments complimenting her low heart rate and increased shoulder mobility/range of motion. She could raise her arm the day after surgery with no discomfort, and was back to yoga class 8 days after surgery, both of which she also credits her good physical shape from her Y workouts.